Marty Meets: Joseph Clough

Photo copyright Joseph Clough 2010.

Reviews of some of the products featured in this interview will be appearing on this site soon.

When you want to make positive changes in your life it can be difficult to know where to start. In the first of a series of remarkable interviews with top therapists, hypnotherapists, trainers and coaches who will help you to transform your life, Marty Drury meets: Joseph Clough.

Hi Joseph, would you like to introduce yourself and tell the readers about what you do?

Sure, I use Hypnosis, NLP and my own processes in my Hypnosis Audio CDs and MP3s (for more info, visit:http://www.josephclough.com) to resolve a variety of psychological and emotional issues. I teach the unconscious and conscious mind to let go of issues and help people get the happiness we all deserve in life.

One of the therapeutic techniques you employ in your recordings, consultations etc is NLP. What is NLP and how can it be used to make positive changes?

NLP was formulated from hypnosis and psychotherapy, and to me it’s like the manual for the mind. It makes big, powerful changes at an unconscious level and gets you back in control of your thoughts, beliefs, feelings and behaviours. On a personal level, NLP has changed me from a young guy will low self-esteem to a confident person who knows his potential. 

You have a video on your Youtube Channel of your appearance on ITV’s Tonight Programme. In that programme, you helped people overcome phobias in minutes. Can positive changes really be made that quickly and easily or is positive change a long-term process?

Absolutely, it takes a couple of components, the first one is: wanting to change, and the second is: finding the right person to help you. I believe every problem we have in our lives, no matter how bad we perceive it has a positive intent. A phobia is trying to protect us but in an overwhelming way. If we can re-teach and re-educate the mind to be safer without the issue it will jump at the chance. Long term changes can be made very quickly.

You’re on record saying that “goal setting” doesn’t work. Could you explain what you mean by that?

Yes I did say that didn’t I? It’s not quite that goal setting doesn’t work, but it needs to be done with other processes. We’ve all set a goal in our life and realised months later that we haven’t achieved it – but why? I always suggest having a peer group to keep you accountable for your goals, so that you make sure you take responsibility for those goals and take massive and inspired action to achieve them. 

Richard Bandler talks about a powerful tool for positive change being the ability to let go of the beliefs we have about ourselves and what is possible in our lives. What’s your view on this? Are we held back too often by limiting beliefs? Is it important to choose to generate positive beliefs?

Beliefs make up our reality. If you have a belief of not feeling good enough then the world will seem like a hard place to live in. However, if someone feels 100% worthy it’s a whole new world that they see.

It’s the same for beliefs about money, relationships, health and everything.  It’s the same world, but just one belief changes our perception of the world entirely. We ‘buy’ into too many beliefs as a society: that we must be a certain way, look a certain way etc and it’s all out of proportion. I feel we can lose touch with what is really true and that is that we have a right to feel worthy, abundant, happy and content. You said the word ‘choose’ to generate positives beliefs. That’s fantastic and very true because many people think they are stuck with them but 100% we choose our beliefs and we can begin to “un-choose” beliefs or create new ones when we decide to.

You have a wide range of products dedicated to dealing with specific issues. I’ve had a chance to listen to a number of your products and you have a very detailed approach to each issue. How does the process of creating a new product work? Do you do research? Do you talk to people currently experiencing the problem that the product will be designed to tackle? Do you add in your own experiences of the problem?

There is quite a bit of research but, to be honest, I’ve been working as a hypnotherapist since I was 18 and over that time I’ve worked with almost every issue I can think of a few hundred times and they follow a similar strategy. I try on the issue myself and find the strategy for it and then decode it into a healthy set of beliefs, resources and behaviours to make the change. When it comes to the titles such as confidence, dating confidence, anxiety, self consciousness I did have those issues and overcame them all. So it would be hard to say I didn’t add my own solutions to the titles because I did.

 Many people I know suffer from anxiety. How can you help them?

Anxiety is a warning system from the mind to focus on what you want. When you think about it, anxiety is the behaviour of seeing the future going wrong, or not how you would like it to be. When we get that signal, we should become conscious of it and then release ‘oh no its time to flip things around and focus on what I want’. When you do this you interrupt the strategy and develop a new strategy in creating a compelling future.

One of your newer titles is ‘Overcome You Social Phobia’. Why did you decide to create this recording and how can it help those who suffer from Social Phobia?

I chose to record the Overcome Your Social Phobia hypnosis track because I’ve noticed a huge rise and demand for it. As I said early about society, we are putting too much pressure on ourselves and thinking people think certain things toward us when in ‘reality’ they don’t. Because it can become a vicious cycle I want to put a stop to it and get people back on track in feeling confident in social situations.

A lot of people who suffer from anxiety are at school or at university or in some other environment where they have to do presentations or run meetings. Can you help them and what advice would you give to someone who had to give a presentation but felt anxious about the prospect and lacked confidence?

When it comes to presentations and meetings the number one thing is : preparation. Know your stuff and get a plan together, preferably a mind map to give you pointers and visual recall. Rehearse the meeting/presentation and then visually imagine seeing yourself do it successfully (I suggest as you go to sleep so your unconscious mind can find the resources you need), this will send the signal to the unconscious of how you want to be and then it will recreate it at the time.

I’d like to talk to you about a title of yours that I’ve been enjoying at the moment: ‘Gain Dating Confidence’ (for men). Why did you decide to create this title?

Well as I said earlier, I had dating issues and I have researched deeply into ‘understanding’ women and have found what I believe to be the formula. After all attraction isn’t a conscious choice, it’s unconscious. So with my own learning’s and research I put it altogether as a package and have had phenomenal feedback ever since. It’s really about re-educating men to become a man whilst being authentic without rubbish lines. When you manage your emotional state, project the right energy and feel comfortable being you, you tap into the unconscious and conscious of women to develop real natural attraction.

One of the things that impresses me about this title is the spin you put on rejection. The idea that you can, sometimes, enjoy being turned down as it moves you closer to a “yes” and that rejection doesn’t mean failure. Why is fear of rejection such a powerful thing when it comes to dating confidence? How can men deal with their fear of rejection?

My own perspective is that men are the “approachers” more often than not and women are more of the choosers so that inevitably leads to situations of so called ‘rejection’.

Firstly men usually defeat themselves before they start by seeing themselves get rejected in their mind. This creates anxiety and failure to impress. Rejection is a hard thing to take if you take it personally, as it says your identity is not good enough. However many people forget that rejection, doesn’t exist unless you make it so. There is no such thing as failure just learning’s and feedback. When it comes to relationships we are selling ourselves to someone else. If you were a salesman you wouldn’t feel too disheartened if you didn’t make the sale. Instead, you would keep going and going until you get the sale.

It’s the same with relationships. You’re not going to meet someone who is the ‘one’ the first time you approach someone. It’s a numbers game and you’re putting yourself out there to be seen, to learn and to develop authenticity when speaking to women. There’s no need to put pressure on yourself. Approach women because you want to make friends and have a good, enjoyable conversation without any end outcome. Forget the end outcome and enjoy being you. That way there is no rejection.

One of the things that a lot of people worry about is whether positive changes will last or not. For example, I’ve listened to the ‘Gain Dating Confidence’ title for a week now and I have an increased level of confidence when talking to women. But how do I stop myself from going back to the old ways that really weren’t working for me? How do I make sure these positive changes last?

Continue listening to the cd/downloads until the new beliefs, resources and behaviours become unconscious. Keep listening until the beliefs, resources and behaviours are habitual and you’ve overridden the old habits that didn’t work for you. It’s less about letting go of behaviours and more about learning to be better which your unconscious mind loves. You’re an evolving person and, once the positive beliefs, resources and behaviours have become unconscious processes, you won’t go back to the old ways that weren’t working for you.

Two other titles of yours that caught my eye are ‘Overcome Self Consciousness’ and ‘Overcome Shyness’. A lot of people I’ve spoken to believe themselves to be “shy people”. They see themselves as always having been that way and always being that way, even though they don’t want to be shy in all situations. Can a “shy person” change themselves (if they wanted to) into a more outgoing person who isn’t held back by shyness?

Yes, absolutely. I was once that shy, self conscious guy and I turned things around. When we make a decision to change and commit to making a development within ourselves we once again evolve to our potential. As you said, they believe and it’s only a belief. Once you change a belief, you see the world differently and you react differently. Shyness is a self made illusion from past experiences. When we lift the veil we see ourselves with unlimited confidence and potential

 On the 8^th of January, I had a bad fall on a patch of ice and broke my left elbow. I had to be in plaster for five weeks and spent a lot of time in pain. They removed the plaster in February but my left arm was stiff and there was a lot swelling around the elbow. For a week or so, I was forced to cradle my left arm across my chest. Going out on a Saturday night in a busy city centre like that made me feel very self-conscious. Can your ‘Overcome Self Consciousness’ title help me and others who, for whatever reason, have become self-conscious?

Sure, self consciousness is a learnt habit. We can unlearn and let go of those thoughts about ourselves or whatever we think people think about us. When we resolve the issue we see the truth about ourselves and physiologically we hold ourselves differently too. I used to think in a self-conscious way and then I thought: “who really cares?  Am I that important that everyone is going to judge me, that’s a little bit egotistical’ and then ‘if they do care…. so what? It’s not my problem, why take the once again egotistical viewpoint that I should care about other people’s issues? It’s their issue if they have a problem”.  

A lot of people believe that they are stuck with their low levels of self-esteem, confidence and distorted self-image because they experienced negative things in their childhood. Richard Bandler is on record as saying: ‘It’s never too late to have a happy childhood’. Would you agree with this? Is it possible to make fundamental positive changes in your life at any point in your life?

Our past is simply the past and we see it how we choose to see it. We can release negative attachments and associations around memories so they do not hold us back. We can learn that there’s no need to hold onto negative attachments or emotional baggage from past experiences.  On my seminars, we release emotions which have been around for years like: anger, sadness, fear, guilt and hurt. Your body keeps those emotions for protection, but if we learn from the past the body automatically lets go of the emotions. We may not have the power to change the reality of the past but we can change how we perceive and feel about it.

In addition to your product range you run courses and seminars. Could you tell us about those courses and seminars?

I run weekend seminars called ‘Reclaim Your Destiny’ we release negative emotions once And for all, take charge of your own destiny, release limiting thoughts. Such as… “I have low self-esteem …” “I’m not good enough…” “I can’t have a great relationship …” “It’s hard to make money …” and develop core beliefs that serve you to name a few things.  I’m running one of these seminars for charity on the 17^th and 18^th of April.

I also run accredited certification training in NLP, Hypnosis, Time Line Therapy (TM) and coaching to those who want to become practitioners, therapists, coaches or just want to take their personal development to the next level.

Thank you for your time, Joseph. Finally, if someone wants to make positive changes in their life, what should be their first step?

First of all go to http://www.josephclough.com and sign up to my newsletter to receive free hypnosis products, e-books created by myself or even purchase an MP3 download or CD to get rid of any issue you wish.

Or take a look at my training site www.josephcloughtrainings.co.uk

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Over inflated confidence, The X Factor & Me

Note: This post is a response to a post on the blog of Adam Eason. Please do visit his blog and join in the conversation there as well as on Join Martin.

The issue that is being discussed here is the issue of whether over inflated self-confidence or belief in ones self (such as certain auditionees on The X Factor who are perceived to believe their own hype and are fully paid up members of their own fanclub exude) is a bad or good thing.  Here’s my response:

Two days ago, a man who might not have been served in a restaurant in some parts of his country just a few decades ago, stood in front of millions, raised his  hand and took the oath of office. That man was Barack Obama, the 44^th President of the USA.  I use Obama as an example because I am worried that, whilst criticism is a powerful and much needed force in this world, opinions used to de-rail, defeat and or destroy the dreams and aspirations of others can so easily become prejudices. Perhaps I’m being a tad dramatic here but the foundation of racism isn’t people wearing white hoods burning crosses. Racism begins with a thought and not an action. Racism has its routes in opinions used to harm. The Nazis, the darkest evil of the 20^th century, were elected into power. Sometimes, we really need to be careful with our opinions of others.

I’m not suggesting that everyone who tells a caterwauling misfit that they’re never going to make it as an international popstar has anything other than a benevolent motive behind their comments. In most cases, no ill will towards the person is meant and the majority of people who offer such opinions are enlightened enough to know that things like racial prejudices belong in the dark ages. But I truly believe that, if we assume that we have the right to deter someone from his or her ambitions purely on the basis of our own opinions, we are assuming a false authority.

Indeed, we are courting irony if we do so. We criticise them for having supposedly inflated levels of confidence when, all the while, we may have an over inflated confidence in the validity of our opinions.

The audition process of The X Factor is basically the pot calling the kettle black repeated ad nausea. I don’t wish to disparage anyone but please do not tell me that Cowell, Walsh, Minogue and Cole got where they are today through modesty and the expression of genius levels of talent. Indeed, the viewers of The X Factor who laugh at certain auditionees for being deluded are courting irony. That portion of the show is edited and the programme makers are in charge of how you see the people who audition. They can make a national hero or villain in minutes should they wish. If these auditionees are making false assumptions about their talent then, just perhaps, we- the viewers- are guilty of making false assumptions about them. One of the most powerful things about reality shows is that they can make you think you have always known someone you’ve never met.

What we are good at and what we are not good at is not written in DNA. My former housemate is a very good piano player. Is he that good because of a God given talent? No. He’s that good because he has a passion for what he’s doing and the discipline to practice. No lack of blind belief is going to make someone an internationally successful pop star? Really? I cut my teeth in journalism as a music journalist and was lucky enough to meet and interview a few “pop stars”. None of them were sat there staring into space whilst muttering: “I wonder how all this happened?” They didn’t become internationally successful by accident. Indeed, in a lot of cases the blind belief in their talent and ability was what drove them to practice playing their instruments, stay up into the small hours writing lyrics etc. It was also often the driving force which kept them playing in small clubs and pubs before reaching the big time.

Constructive criticism and even the darker kind of criticism has its place but, no matter how well meaning we might be when we deliver it, it’s merely one person’s words being whispered in the dark. Perhaps these frustrated auditionees could serve themselves better by redirecting their energies towards something else that they may be good at other than music. We can counsel, we can guide, we can advise and we can criticise but we are not the architects of their future and we should never try to be. I realise it sounds trite and I also realise that, in saying it, I might as well work for the Disney Corporation. But people can be whatever they wish to be and people can achieve whatever they want to achieve. That might sound naïve. But it isn’t. I know the realities of the world and I’ve had a lot of life experience for my 27 years on this planet. Indeed, the fact that I’m here writing this is testament to my philosophy.  That’s my two cents worth.

Oh, and before anyone says it, I’m aware of the irony of a journalist saying that people should be careful with their opinions of others. I’m also aware of the huge irony that comes from a former political columnist saying such a thing.

What did the Brit do? He stood up.

I have always been interested in America and American history. My project on George Washington helped to get me a good grade in History which in turn helped me to get into my first choice university and progress and succeed beyond those times.  I was and am a huge fan of The West Wing TV series and I visited quite a lot of America in 1997 and saw many wonderful places and met many wonderful people.

Today, America made history through the inauguration of the 44th President of the USA, Barack Obama. Face it, if you travelled back to 2004 and told the people you met that, four years into their future, an African American would be the President of the USA, not many would have believed you. I am sure that some people in America and beyond will not be fans of Obama. People have different views and opinions when it comes to politics and that’s fine. Indeed, that’s more than fine. That’s how we develop as people: by listening and respecting the people who disagree with us as well as those who share our thoughts and views.  Even if you disagree with the man’s politics, you may have to admit that, before much of the work of the office has begun, the world already feels “new” after this inauguration.

So, what did this Brit do during the inaguration? I stood up. Oh yes, in a small village in England in the UK, one journalist stood up while President Obama spoke. Why did I stand up? I stood up because it felt right to do so. I have never felt the urge to stand up when a politician is speaking before. Unless you count the times I’ve listened to British politicians and stood up to leave the room. But this time, I stood up because it felt right. I stood up because I saw a great man speak. I stood up because I have friends in America and I wanted to celebrate with them. But most of all, I stood up because, even in these dire global times of ours, there is the audacity of hope.

Oh, and to the people who are beginning to wonder what on earth any of this has to do with language learning, I say this: language is about communication as much as it is about learning.  Learn to communicate well and learn to present yourself well and it really doesn’t matter if you make mistakes or encounter obstacles. And, if you’re looking for inspiration, there are very few finer examples than Barack Obama.

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Barack Obama: the 44th President of the USA

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Barack Obama: Inauguration

Join Martin would like to wish Barack Obama and the USA all the best for tomorrow’s inauguration. Ladies and gentlemen, not too long to go now until we welcome the 44th President of the United States.  From George Washington to Barack Obama.  My very best wishes to you all.

Get Obama books etc here

Public Speaking: How to present

Public speaking: How to present. A lot of people have discovered Join Martin by searching for “public speaking” advice on the Internet. This blog is about communication and I think this video is great for anyone who wants to improve their presenting style no matter what language they speak.